I've decided to apply both for Computing in (1)Lahti (2)HML and (3)Tampere and for Computer Science in (1)Tampere (2)Jyväskylä and (3)Helsinki. Hopefully one of the places will accept me. (Tampere and Jyväskylä are actually battling for the position of First Choice right now, so that might well change before I actually send out any applications.)

Since neither of the entrance exams has any literature to learn beforehand, I pretty much have to dig deep to find out what will help me pass the tests, get my hands on some For Dummies books and start learning. I need to finally get in to study something I really like and want to learn.

I should probably try and get to know Jyväskylä a little better too, before making any decisions. Wouldn't want to repeat the whole "first year of college" fiasco, again.

My dreams keep getting weirder and weirder every night. Last night was the most bizarre in years. Some strange movie-like setting where I was some psychotic dude not taking his meds butchering everyone in his paranoia. Woke up to the feeling of WHAT.THE.FUCKAGE? So strange. Maybe I should start getting worried? Probably not. As long as The Weird only infiltrates my night time dreamings I should be good.

I spent my time at work thinking about Doom, today. More specifically next year and what the hell I should do with my life. I will apply for schools, that’s a given, but to study what and where in God’s name will that be is still a little misty. Answers asap, please.

Possibilities:
+ Computer Science at the University of Tampere or University of Jyväskylä
+ Computing at Lahti University of Applied Sciences
+ Psychology at the University of Tampere or at the University of Helsinki

The first two are pretty much on the same line as far as my ambitions go, and the last option is just something I might try out for shits and giggles. You know, see how difficult the entrance exam is and stuff. I don’t even know if I’d really like to seriously study it.

The main problem with all of this is, though, that I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I mean, how do I make the right choice about anything when I have no idea what’s gonna go down in my life let alone in the whole fucking world in general in the next ten years? The risk of studying something that will become pointless in a decade is HUGE considering the times we’re going through.

Having said that, after reading through the intro to Computer Science in Tampere University, I can’t be but perversely curious. I mean, the entrance exams in previous years have been so fucked that at present I would have a snowballs chance in Hell with getting in. But what if I start preparing NOW? Could I get in even though I didn’t take advanced Maths in High School? Could I become good enough in six months time if I worked hard enough for it?

You have no idea how big the temptation to show everyone I have what it takes is. Then again, this would require me to be all hush hush about this until after I’ve found out whether or not I’ve gotten in. Because the shame of not getting in and everyone still knowing I’d applied would be too much for me to take. I mean it, I'd probably combust in a cloud of shame tinted dust should that happen.

I have to think this through and make some serious decisions before this year is over. Oh, the stress.